A Truly Sad Day(sorry, it's a bit long)

This week I made one of the hardest decisions I've made in my teaching career. I quit the alternative education program that I was so enthused about not too long ago. I feel like a total pile crap. I left the program, found my own replacement and will teach this replacement a few things before being done this week. Sadly, the program was set up by a rookie principal who was more interested in ensuring that the students liked him and a substitute teacher with no classroom experience (let alone any dealings with AE kids or students with problems). I spent all of last year arguing for things to change and also gave it the first quarter of this year while under the guise that things were changing. Nothing changed. I refuse to put name in with anything that is SOOOOOO poorly thought out. Last year, on the night when the parents and students were introduced to the program, there were no rules set. Nothing had been set at all. After a brief introduction students were permitted to ask questions. The first one was about permission to have drinks and food in class (evening program). The principal said that it was fine. I chimed in that the drinks need to come into the building (one room school) in sealed containers. That was over ruled and at that point I knew that it was an uphill battle.
Fast-forward a year. Nothing has changed. Students come in to school toting containers of "Coke" (what could be mixed with that anyway?), apple cider (I'm sure it was fresh from the press and not yet turned), tropical punch (ya, nothing goes well in that either) and drank throughout the evening. Now, think that these are the kids who are expelled from school for drug related problems and then think about this little issue of drinks. Ya, not a great thing. I have absolutely no faith in any of them to be trusted. Add on to this "little" issue the fact that while I'm in the building there are no privileges at all, but I find out that my 3 esteemed colleagues allow the students to listen to music online during their stints in AE. Even teachers are barred from this practice in this district, but these AE kids are permitted? “It keeps them quiet” was the response I received when I questioned the practice. This sent the message that it’s great in AE…why not get expelled? Put in 4 hours a day and get to eat drink and listen to online music while at school? Something is definitely wrong here. Add to that the fact that I was busy over the summer and could not make a meeting about this year’s “new” program. Two others could and took the Tues/Wed/Thurs/ days and all of the "down" time, leaving me and another teacher with Mon and Fri evenings. It’s tough to see kids on Mon/Fri and keep any sort of flow in what they do. All of this added up to a program that truly wasn't worth the effort. Despite my experience in AE and the suggestions I brought up, nothing changed in over a year. My warnings went unheeded and were dismissed.
When my departure from the program became known, some asked how I could give up the money. MONEY? That was never part of the issue for me. I can make the same money watching detention and having no responsibility/planning/preparation. In fact this weekend, at my third job I made more than double the AE pay per hour while having fun and being relaxed, joking with customers. I was truly insulted by this comment, but I guess that's how some people see things. The all-mighty dollar rules.
I have been pretty quiet about my concerns in my district, making comments to those who need to know and could help, but made it known that things were not right. For nearly half of a school year I've been told that changes are coming. Enough time has passed that I've just given up. When people with no experience who are more interested in keeping the kids happy than they are in running a quality, successful program are in charge, no amount of common sense can over ride their decisions. Sadly, I feel that someone will have serious consequences if there is no resolve to the current issues and truly feel that I've done all I can to improve things. I'm not going down with a sinking ship when I'm not permitted help right the boat or fix a leak.

The issues I have mentioned are just a few of those that need tending to. This is one program that had a great purpose, could have been a great success and one that had the potential to really helped some students that made questionable decisions, but the ones in charge failed to see past their rose colored glasses long enough to see reality. Imagine students expelled for drug offenses being in your classroom when you have no set policy for checking book bags, or any method of verifying that they are drinking cool-aid with no additional libation or even any method of recourse if the fail to keep from cruising the net while in online school while you are helping another student….that’s not something that I’m willing to risk my certificate for. I enjoy this end of the student population and see what a difference I can make, but am not interested in being an enabler. That’s what you are when you fail to face reality, and blindly trust students because they are essentially bribed to like you. Tell them what they want to hear and cave in on anything you have to. That’s not the way I operate and never intend to. I’ll find another program that fits my beliefs and standards. Then and only then will I attempt to be involved in another program. At the start of this one, I was under the impression that I would have input and be able to help set up a quality program. I was totally wrong.

What sticks in my mind is that the wishy-washy-stars-in-the-eyes-kiss-ass educators fail to face the reality that some kids will lie to their faces and stab them in the back as soon as it’s beneficial or convenient. This is a tough lesson that some in this program will have learn on their own I guess. I only hope that the lesson is learned before some one looses a certificate or gets seriously hurt. These kids aren’t here for being good, honest citizens. They are there because they have been deemed to endanger the entire school population while in school.

This is the first job I have ever just quit. I have left other positions for better positions, but have never left a job like this before no matter how bad the job. I stuck with them until I could be promoted or improve my status in other employment. Whether it was digging ditches in high school, parking golf carts after college or working with the roughest kids in the tri-county area I stuck with it. This time I leave to maintain my self-image and to maintain my beliefs and philosophy. Even so I still feel terrible about leaving no matter how poorly thought out things were. I guess in time I’ll get over it and move on, but right now it really feels like a punch in the gut. Who knows, maybe something good will come from this, other than additional hunting time after school for me and a lot less stress…I guess time will tell.

Stay true to your beliefs and all will be well right?